Welcome back to Break Every Chain; personal freedom is our desire for you.
As I think of sharing with you today, there is a beautiful song from way back in the fifties which comes to mind. Let’s look at some of those lines.
“Que Sera Sera” first recorded in 1956 by Doris Day
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here’s what she said to me
Que será, será
Whatever will be, will be
The future’s not ours to see
Que será, será
What will be, will be
It appears to the little girl was searching for meaning in life, so
she went to the best authority she knew, her mother
“mummy, what is my purpose in Life?”
What will I be?
Her dear mother’s a response to such a profound question was, “Que sera sera”
The story continues in the following verses; she later fell in love and ask her her lover
“What does their future hold?” his answer was the same “Que sera sera
In the process of time; she has children of her own; they ask the same question.
I am certain you can guess the answer she gave; “Que sera sera”
Knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life; the why of being here, of being human is a question we must all answer. In my search for the answer to this question, I was lead to discover what I call.
My PURPOSE LADDER
As a ladder has steps or rounds; there are dimensions to our lives, which must be mastered to discover and live a purpose-filled life.
I employ you to stay with me over the coming weeks as we seek to discover your purpose together. Each level will be discussed as we climb the ladder of purpose.
We will get there step by step
I can attest to the fact that having discovered my purpose; I now start my days with meaning. I look forward to waking up in the morning. without crippling fear and anxiety. Life is no longer a mystery but purposeful planning, step by step round by round to achieve my goals, dreams, and vision.
You may be searching for meaning and purpose in your life; I have six components which we will delve into to arrive at your purpose in life.
Next week we will look at the first round, you can also catch me on Youtube
As long as there is a will there is a way; no one can stop you except you let them.
Life is all about transition, like a caterpillar processing through phases of metachrosis; we as a people are called upon to rise, to develop o change from one stage to another. It is interesting to note change is usually not a welcome experience for most of us.
It is usually associated with negativity and loss.
Should we allow ourselves to embrace change it can be seen as a positive and rewarding necessity.
After all, if the change was not something positive we will never achieve most host what w have in life.
Examine, take a moment and reflect, some time of change to place for
you to change from a baby to a puberty teenage, young adult, adult, senior
You may say to me that’s growth.
Oh yes I will agree with you; allow me to ask you this
Isn’t growth a series of change?
As, a people, a community, a nation, the world; the demand has been placed upon us to make some severe and unexpected adjustments. Changes that have been so unexpected and to most of us unthinkable. Covid-19 has changed us forever.
That’s where our strength of resilience is called into question.
We can not lay down and dies even if e want to. Death may surround you but you re left to pick up the pieces and carry on. There have been moments in my life where I longed for the earth to open up, just wide enough to swallow me up. Then I won’t have to worry anymore. I thank God for the beautiful girl he blessed me with. During those empty years of disappearing, they gave me a reason to go on.
It was there I found my strength in God, the will to read empowering books and magazines to draw strength to face each day. My friend I want you to know you are not alone, others have made it and so can you.
RESILIENCE an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change, (Webster’s Dictionary) The definition I received when I came in connection with that word was the ability to bounce back from negative or adverse circumstances. There marked a turning point in my life, but that’s a story for another day. Today I want you to know that you can make it, regardless of how the odds are stacked against you. It can turn out for your good. Like that tree in the image above you can grow around your situation and come out smiling. I believe in you and your ability to bounce back from every punch life throws at you.
Embrace the change
Learn from it, grow from it
Allow it to bring you to maturity, you are resilient, no one can do it for you so stand up. take the hand of the almighty and walk on.
FOOD FOR YOUR SOUL
Romans 8:28 KJV – And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
To live is to experience conflict, struggles, ups, and downs what makes us and breaks us is our ability to cope and bounce back from these negatives experiences. We enter this world in varying situations, circumstances, and environments. These factors all affect our ability to chose and cope with life’s circumstances. It is in our early years and experiences we formulate our concepts and develop mindsets that can empower us or deter us. Negative mindsets can form strongholds that chain’s us to our past. Negative strongholds and mindsets are our greatest roadblocks in living a successful life. What we believe is more powerful than anything, anyone can say or do to us.
RESULTS OF A BROKEN PAST
When you scratch a grain on matches if it does not go out, you are assured of getting fire. Childhood pain trauma and disappointment trigger a fire that burns with negativity which burns its way into our adult life. Leaving a trail of negative emotions in its path. They leave behind a trail of negative emotions
Strongholds of negativity such as
* I am not good enough
* Nobody loves me
* Things never work out good for me
* I was not meant to be happy
* I am getting what I deserve
NEGATIVE THOUGHTS TURNS INTO NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
Strongholds as mentioned above, in time, begin to shape our personalities and temperament. Even when you try to be positive and optimistic You feel drawn into a hole of despair, with little hope of getting out. My friend if this is your present experience, I am here to tell you there is hope, those chains can be broken. Here are some negative emotions which can disrupt our lives.
* Loneliness and depression
* Lack of passion and drive for anyone or anything
* A lack of empathy for others
* Inability to cope with change
* Low self-esteem
* A pesamistic attitude
YOU CAN SURVIVE THE FEAR
We are all wired with a self-preservation instinct, which helps us to protect ourselves from hurt, damage, or loss. When we experience deep emotional pain, we begin to protect ourselves with the fear of being hurt like that again. We build emotional walls to keep us safe, we must keep in mind that walls don’t only keep people out they also keep you in, you become a prisoner of your own fears. Eventually, we begin to use substances, people, and things as a source of comfort; drugs, alcohol, relationships, etc. to shield us from the fear we are truly experiencing. The attempt to drawn our hurts, pains, and fears so far away from the surface that we do not have to deal with them on a daily basis. The reality remains you are dying on the inside like a poison that eats from within. In order for you to be free from the chains of past hurts you must allow them to surface. Look your hurts and fears in the face and say goodbye to them. Shout it out, hear yourself say it. faith comes by hearing, the more you hear yourself say it the more you will believe. Fear has torment (1 John 4;18); torment keeps us in bondage. God’s desire for us, is that we are set free. Look those fears straight on and tell them they no longer have power over you. You have the strength Christ came to give, lets look at just some of the more common fear which hinders our lives. The only way to be free is to accept freedom in Christ, he will break the yokes. (Matthew 11:28-29)
Fear of a broken heart of relationship
Fear of disappointment
Fear of physical pain
Fear of emotional pain
YOU ARE NOT YOUR FAILURE
If you have not read my blog which spoke about forgiving yourself I strongly suggest you do. STOP beating up yourself. To fall down at times is only natural. The victory lies in being courageous enough to get back up. You are reading this today because you are courageous because you are strong because you desire more out of life and you are willing to make the changes that are necessary. You should be proud of yourself.
FAILURE can be an instrument for learning powerful life lessons, When I am faced with a particular struggle in my life, I am quick to say, “Lord help me to learn my lessons quickly through this situation – I believe the faster I learn that lesson the faster the situation will be resolved. No matter what the experiences life has presented to you, God can turn it around for your good. (Romans 8:28) In fact, that’s my favorite verse of scripture; it governs my life.
Personally I made a number of mistakes in my life, for example, I had my first child out of marriage. My first and second marriages did not last, I made poor choices. Out of thee situations was born my non-profit organization. Many lives have been changed by this organization and my story. I am who I am because of the things I have been through. we are the sum total of our decisions; good or bad.
I would like you to look at life this way, it’s like an exam you must past to get to another level, failure means you have to stay where you are. There are times you may fail the exam but you are given the opportunity to pass it at another time. Everything that has happened in your life, even the ugly and unspeakable things can be turned into good. You may be able to tell someone what you have experienced and they will feel comforted by hearing they are not alone because you walked that road before – If you made it so can they.
My friend your life is not a series of coincidences. God has a plan for your life, work with him, and see your situation turn around for the glory of God and the betterment of others. I am looking forward to hearing from you in the comments below; live well live free it’s your right. Should you need help to follow through up on this step email, firstname.lastname@example.org
Love & Blessings
Suzanna Founder Break Every Chain
FOOD FOR YOUR SOUL
“He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities, and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.”
Have you ever tried to help someone, you give all your efforts and abilities, the results, however, were not encouraging? Upon careful consideration, you realize you wanted good for that person more than they wanted it for themselves. The bible tells us, “every man must give an account of himself” (Romans 14:12kJV). Change is a personal thing. I can want you to change until I am blue in the face, your change will only come if and when you are ready for it. My purpose with my writing is to help you break free of chains which are hindering your progress in life. We dealt with unforgiveness. Before we address another I felt compelled to share with you, that you must desire change with earnest desire, before any change can effectively take place in your life.
FACE YOUR REALITY
before any change can take place we must become aware of the negative behavior which is sabotaging our lives, a sense of dissatisfaction bust begins to disturb you. This feeling of displeasure with your action must become an issue in your life that you begin to do some serious consideration and is now contemplating where you are, how the situation of habit is affecting you, to the point that you are ready to do something about it. Psychology teaches us that change is a process, honey you must come to the point where your desire for change is greater than the satisfaction you are receiving from the negative behavior.
PREPARE TO CHANGE
Change take preparation, while contemplating and coming to your place of change, you will begin to see that certain actions will become necessary. What steps will I have to make for me to implement change? I can recall when I came to the point of ending my marriage, which for years had been dysfunctional, one of the first hurdles was to prepare myself for was where was I going to live along with my three children. Should I return to my ents home? or I could get a place of my own and do the work/jobs require
to keep a roof over our heads? The latter was my decision I needed my independence and it would have made me feel less of a person to return home. Prepared to do whatever it took; at one time mean having 2 jobs, then I added training as a financial advisor to the list. The place of change was now my destination no turning back, as you reflect on your situation what are the adjustments you will have to make, the things you are going to have to give up.
You have come to a very important aspect of your change process, its time to take action. You can plan all you want if you don’t put the plan into action you will remain in the same place. Don’t be like those friends you get you into trouble then run away and leave you there to take the heat. Never run out on yourself. You have don’t great to arrive at this point; I am so proud of you. You have contemplated and come to the decision to change, you have come with a plan to change and prepared yourself for the change so Let’s do this!
I am am not going to lie to you and tell you it’s easy because personally I don’t believe that it’s easy. Change is hard work, most of the time in order to make a change you will be going against what feels natural to you; it’s like swimming upstreaming – you will feel the currents of the past behavior pulling you back but press on be determined and persistent, you will come to the place of change if you take the necessary action and don’t give up.
Do you know the saying, “you can’ teach an old dog new tricks” that’s a lie? As you begin to take action, you will be forming new habits, you are tired of the tricks of the past which were not beneficial to you; As a result of your desire and action to impact change, your change will come you will learn a new trick, new ways of thinking and doing things. This final piece of the puzzle is very necessary for your survival. When some purchase a car, they’re informed of what is required to sustain a vehicle that performs well. It will be wise to follow those instructions. The manufac5ure would have laid out, he made it he knows what’s best. Things like regular oil change is vital, I want you to know that you must take regular actions to maintain toe change you have worked so hard for.
Abstain from anything or anyone that will cause you to feel in your pursuit of change. If a particular environment causes you to desire the habits of the past then avoid that environment. While avoiding the negative triggers you must also feed yourself with positive influences, listen to great speakers, read good books, play good music; surround yourself with positive people. Maintainance is necessary on your journey to living a well-balanced life.
In the words of George Bernard Shaw, “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything” I stand in agreement with him; that’s where all of this started. In the book of proverbs we are told “as a man thinks, so is he” You are powerful, you have the power of change and you used it. Feed your mind with the manufactures manual, the bible, God created us in his image and likeness. Discover what he says about you, in his word you will fall in love with God and with yourself. A healthy love for yourself gives you the fuel you need to become the person God has called you to be. The head and not the tail, above and not beneath. That’s who you are.
Let me know what these lines have meant to you, how it’s impacting your self-development journey. You are not alone I am praying for you.
Love & Blessings
Suzanna Founder Break Every Chain
FOOD FOR THE SOUL
Delight thyself in the Lord and he shall give thee, the desires of your heart.
The Heart Of A Sister Family Foundation, spent the past two weeks as one of the facilitators in the Ministry of Gender Youth and Child Development; Adolescent Intervention Program. This program was conducted in some primary schools for the students who wrote SEA. It’s a commendable effort, one which will positively affect the lives of our children. There are some parents who will find these last few months before secondary school to be the last time they will see their precious Jack, Jenny or Jill as a child, this phase in their lives is quickly approaching its end.
Over the years I have arduously observed the phenomenal change which takes place in a child’s life between the ages eleven to thirteen. A metamorphosis occurs, which is not always for the better. Are we preparing our children for these life changes and likewise are we prepared to assist them during this new phase of their lives? We tend to blame it on the school and its environment. This, of course, is a contributing factor, but as parents, we must be mindful, there are natural developmental stage in the life cycle of an individual which must occur, Parents, you must take time to sit with your children to explain the important changes which will be experienced and what to expect. It is your responsibility to feed them with good reliable information. The last thing you want is for them to gain the wrong information in the wrong place from the wrong persons. The stage of adolescence is a confusing time in the life of a child.
The ministry brought in a balanced diet of physical, mental, and psychological development information for these young persons. They needed to be told; “boys your voice will change”, “girls you will soon experience having a period” they must be though pubic hair is a part of personal development, increased personal hygiene is needed and the crazy signs of hormonal changes; their increased interest in members of the opposite sex. Parents that’s your role, sit your child down, tell them what to expect in their own bodies, and of course the best response to these changes.
At each school we visited the cry was the same, it broke my heart to hear these young people say “I don’t like myself, or I am ugly”. Why are we breathing a society of young people who lacks self-worth? This is the door that’s wide opened to be used by opportunists who will step in to advantage these vulnerable lives, can I say innocent bystanders. Instill in your child the
confidence the belief, they are special, there is no one else like them. Nothing is wrong in being different. Teach them to stand up for something so they won’t fall for anything. My heart truly yearns for them. I wish I could take them in my arms and speak life into them, just to make them believe they are God’s idea, God don’t make mistakes he does not make junk.
We saw children filled with so much potential, doctors, lawyer’s teachers, engineers, pilots, businessmen, women, and farmers. The class was surprised one day when one of the boys said he wants to do farming. I took that moment, to share with them the importance of agriculture as a profession. Highlighting the high level of our import bill which can and should be reduced, agriculture and farming must be seen as a profession of high quality.
They are failing to see the rich potential they possess, the value of their existence. We must be careful as a society to nurture a healthy sense of self-worth within them, from the moment they breathe their first breath. Allow them to gain a sense of personal identity refuse to cut them down with that bitter award of criticism and comparison. Why is it so much easier to speak negativity than to uplift? It takes seven good statements to cover one mad statement. Parents, caregivers, educators, children are Gods gifts entrusted to us. Let us take the time to invest all, the positive we can find, into their hearts and lives. They already have to compete with the social media, the entertainment industry, peer pressure; others wise which constantly lies to them about who they should be. The only power strong enough to combat that influence is, THE POWER OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE –YOUR LOVE!
Love & Blessings
Suzanna Founder Break Every Chain
FOOD FOR YOUR SOUL
1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
As we get together every week to grow, learn and develop through the things we will learn from each other; I want you quietly take in the scenery above; in your mind’s eye – that’s where we will be. Surrounded by nature peacefully scenery. leave the world behind, just for a little bit. This time is for you, YOU DESERVE IT
Thank you for joining me on this motivating and exciting journey. Let’s take this time to come home to ourselves, find out more about who we are and what we need to do to make our lives better. Home is where the heart is, I welcome you home with me.
Love & Blessings Suzanna Founder Break Every Chain
One of the most beautiful things we can observe with children is the way in which they celebrate their successes. When they take their first step and realize you were looking they light up with joy and enthusiasm. We clap and celebrate, teaching them to celebrate themselves. As they grow older they begin to do things just to make us celebrate, they flip and jump, they play silly games and make funny faces, they eventually learn to tell funny jokes; just for the celebration. Hello, it’s time to wake up the child inside of you; he/she is still there longing for some celebration. Today we are going to explore some really beneficial reasons to celebrate your step of breaking the chain of unforgiveness
CELEBRATING STIMULATES HAPPINESS
It has been psychologically proven, the way we think and act affects our level of happiness. Researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky defines happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combines with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile” I can appreciate her definition. The truth is, happiness can be different things to different people. In my book Happily Ever After (I include the link below), I discovered my happiness after years of hurt, rejection, and abuse. Now I celebrate my freedom, my chains have been broken, I am free therefore I celebrate every day, the life I have been blessed with. When celebrate we feel good because the “happy hormone” dopamine is released in our brains. Causing us to feel a sense of bliss which sends positive energy throughout our bodies. You deserve to celebrate and I celebrate with you.
CELEBRATING TRANSFORMS OUT MINDSETS
When something makes us feel good we are prone to repeat that act to recreate the feeling because it brings us pleasure. That can be both good and bad activities. One of the reasons people can become hooked on an addictive substance is because it made them feel good when they sampled it the first time. The same thing can occur with an activity; when an experience makes you feel good you begin to repeat the experience., to maintain that feel-good feeling.
We celebrate our successes, no matter how small they may appear, it’s something you accomplished. Celebrate it, the celebration will make you feel good and will, therefore, give you the energy the momentum the mindset to do it again and again, to try new things. The bible tells us the Joy of the Lord is our strength, (Nehemiah 8:10). Feeling happy gives you strength, what better reason to celebrate.
CELEBRATING BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE
I recently started a new business oh boy, I was filled with excitement. My son looked at me and said, “mum, do you know how long I have not seen you walk that way.” I stopped what I was doing and looked at him, my mind was triggered but I wanted to hear him explain what he meant so I asked him what did he mean. He said ” you are
walking with your head and shoulders up, like you did when you worked at Maritime (the most rewarding job I ever had). This conversation remained with me all day. Even a child could see the confidence my new business was bringing to my life. Now I deserved to celebrate that moment. It gave me greater self-confidence and a desire to pursue my business. When you celebrate your achievements taking the time to acknowledge that you have done it. You feel better about yourself and the world around you. This, in turn, makes you more productive.
Positive energy is contagious, have you ever experienced the crazy moment of walking into a room in which people are laughing, you don’t know the joke but you also begin laughing. Or when someone makes a joke just a few persons laugh at first and before you know it everyone’s laughing. Our emotions creates an atmosphere around us. The negative is also true. You attend a funeral, you don’t know the person, there’s nothing personal between you and them but you attend to support a friend. Without warning you find yourself crying. You look at a sad movie and you cry you look at a movie with a happy ending and you feel wonderful.
What kind of atmosphere do you generate, how do people feel when they have been in your presence. Cultivate the habit of being someone who celebrates their moments, you will discover you are a much better person to be around. People will welcome you into their space. Share with them your achievements and successes it will motivate them to push themselves into the place they would like to be. We are never assured of what the other person is dealing with in their lives. Your celebration just might be what they need to give them hope.
I feel good writing this blog, in fact, I feel great, I am hoping I have been able to cause you to see how worthy you are of celebrating who you are. Celebrate waking up in the morning, there are many people who didn’t; celebrate having a meal on the table; stop to give thanks, celebrate most of all the people in your life. When you celebrate them they would find it a delight to be around you and they will give more of themselves to you because you make them feel good. I was not always a person like that. in fact if I am not careful I can at times fall back into my negative behaviors. I have developed this practice, from the moment I wake up in the morning I pause to celebrate and give God thanks for being alive. I reflect on all the good in my life; I start my day it gratitude, I celebrate each moment. How I celebrate my achievements is buying myself something I would not have usually bought, or just sharing my joy with close family and friends. It’s been a joy sharing with you today. I will be so fulfilled if you will share with me some of the ways you celebrate your achievements,
Love & Blessings Suzanna, Founder Break Every Chain
Our journey of forgiveness takes us to one of the most important steps we can take to being free, to live the quality of life God has called us to live. You can go any part of the world where there is freedom and liberty for all; people are free to move around and conduct their daily affairs as they see fit. That amounts to physical freedom; many of these same persons, while free on the outside; are also bound by chains of self-condemnation and unforgiveness. I am here to let you know, personal freedom belongs to you. I pray that my words today will help in setting you free, from those chains that need to be broken.
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE INNOCENT
Most of us know the story of Joseph in the bible, (Genesis 37-50) He was despised and rejected by his brothers because of jealousy in their hearts towards him. There will be times in your life when people don’t like you, simply because you are you; the grace of God is upon your life and they can’t stand it. Back to Joseph, to make matters worst Joseph had dreams of his parents and his brothers bowing down to him. Some will say he should have kept his mouth shut but that’s another lesson. This added fuel to the fire of hatred and jealousy in his brother’s held for him. One day his father made him a beautiful coat of many colors, that was the last straw for his brothers. That was the day they plotted to kill him. One of his brothers felt sympathetic and was able to convince his brothers to sell him rather than kill him. Joseph had done no wrong, yet there he was being carried off to a strange land to be sold as a slave.
NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF WHO YOU ARE
God’s hand was upon Joseph and I am telling you, God’s hands are upon you today. Joseph finds himself working in the king’s house, the king loved him and trusted him, but the enemy of his soul would did not give up, The King’s wife desired Joseph, (read the story) he refused her; only to find himself in prison for many years. God was still in control. Joseph while in prison kept the dreams he had as a boy in his heart. He had a vision for his life and he believed it will come to pass. I believe this is what gave him the strength to face each day. You must have a vision/direction for your life. That’s a personal matter, you have to decide where am I going in this life, where will I be five, ten, fifteen years from now. What type of Mother, Father, Employer, Employees will I be, what faith am I holding on to? These are questions you must sit and quietly answer.
VISION GIVE YOU DIRECTION
A vision is a picture, we conceptualize in pictures, your vision is that picture you have in your heart, your mind, of who you are as a person, the quality of life you desire to live. It’s important to have it as clear as possible. Clarity of vision becomes your personal road map for living. It will govern your decisions and keep you on track. It will become that inner voice that tells you what is for you and what is not. Joseph possessed a clear vision of himself. Be held on to his vision regardless of the odds against him. No one has to believe it but you; sorry to say, but there are people who do their best to knock your vision out of you. Please stay far from them, always be careful who you tell your vision to.
FORGIVENESS – BENEFITS EVERYONE
The years rolled by, Joseph came out of prison and was elevated to the highest position in the land, in charge of all the country’s possession. In short Joseph’s brothers eventually had to come to him to get food for their family. Joseph on the realization that here was his brothers; was not angry or vengeful, instead, he possessed an open and forgiving heart. Over the years he had already come to forgive both his brothers and himself. He was now filled with love for them and was joyful to see them. As a result, Joseph’s entire family came to live in Egypt and the nation of Israel grew into thousands. My friend God has a plan for your life, some terrible things may have happened on your journey, but like Joseph, if you are able to forgive and let it go; God will turn it around. Not only for your benefit but for the benefit of others, your family, and those who surround you.
I have a vision of you, there is a smile on your face and a pep in your step. Your confidence level has risen and you feel like you can conqueror the world. That’s what forgiveness does for you; it’s like being able to put down a ton of bricks you have been carrying all alone on your back. I am so happy for you. If you have not been able to reach that point, because I know there will be some of you who have not. Listen to me I want you to continue pressing in, do not give up. Daily pray asking God to help you let go and forgive both yourself and others. Keep working on your list and work on forgiving each person one by one. Allow the painful memory to surface, cry if you have to, speak to them it just may help. Never give up on your journey to forgiveness and FREEDOM it belongs to you. Feel free to share your ideas, experience, and comments with me in the box below. I look forward to hearing from you.
Love & Blessings
Suzanna Founder Break Every Chain
FOOD FOR YOUR SOUL
Psalm 103:12As far as the east is from the west, has he removed our transgressions from us.
If I told you forgiveness is a limitless act, you may want to debate me on that point. Today I want us to go through this subject together. The call to forgiveness is a universal one. I believe God in his wisdom knows how beneficial it is to our health and well-being. In my last blog, we explored some steps which can lead us to forgiveness; now that we have allowed the pain, anguish, and disappointment to surface and be dealt with, lets lay some glue to the issue so we can keep forgiveness in its rightful place. I am excited to read your comments at the end of this blog, This being a very sensitive subject, Feel Free to share with me via email as needed.
THERE WILL BE UPS AND DOWNS
I chose the image above among many, my reason for this is, the road to forgiveness is not a straight one as depicted in most images. The road is rough, there will be mountains and valleys, highs and lows. The journey begins with the decision to let go of the pains of the past so you can forgive, no easy task at any rate. This process can at times feel like a roller coaster; one day you will decide to forgive the next day, you just might change your mind. There were times I cried out in anguish after the trauma of my first marriage. For me there was no question about it, I will never forgive him I became convinced, he did not deserve my forgiveness. To be honest, the only thing which allowed me to give in, was facing reality – forgiveness is not for the other person; it is for me. That did not make it any easier but I was on my way. There were day I would feel the disappointment and anger, those were my lows, I would speak to myself to bet back up again. It did get easier with time, I promise you that it will get easier for you.
IT IS NOT ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL
The climax comes on the days when you feel like giving up. That’s when you must speak to yourself, speak to someone you trust who will give the needed support. Here is where you have to accept that it’s not about the way you feel. Feelings will come and they will go. Feelings will tell you a number of stories; the favorite stories you will have to battle are, one they don’t deserve your forgiveness, the other you don’t have to do it now, you can do it sometime in the future, Don’t fall for those lies, you are forgiving for you not them and you have to do it now; the longer you hold on unforgiveness the more damage it does to you, physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. The beauty of it is, when you have been healed by forgiveness, you will get to enjoy that positive feeling, go for it!
There will be times on your road to forgiveness when you will feel like you are in a tug-of-war.
You feel like you are in a war against yourself.
You feel like, if you let go of the level of control you have gained, you will crash
The fear will try to overtake you, to be honest sometimes it will
PERSISTENCE – that’s the key, hold on to the vision, of being FREE, and do not let go.
Hold on – don’t give up
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
The scriptures tell us, when the disciples questioned Jesus about forgiveness, his answer baffled them. They were not prepared for the response he gave. WOW, that seemed like a tall order. Let us look at lessons we can learn from that encounter.
1* The value of forgiveness, Jesus sole character is wrapped up in forgiveness, he forgives us even when we do not deserve to be forgiven. Jesus represents unconditional love which is evident by his ability to forgive.
2* There is no limit to forgiveness, (Luke 17:4 KJV) “Seventy times seven in one day”; that’s how often he told them they should forgive. To me, that means there is no limit. There will be the persons who truly pushes you to the max, you forgive them, they offend you again and again. Hello, we are still called upon to forgive them, each and every time.
3* If we want forgiveness we must also give forgiveness ( Mat.6:12-14 KJV) it’s a principle of sowing and reaping, do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. I know, you are tempted to say “I would never do something like that” My mother always says “never say never” In any given situation we act, there are times we surprise ourselves at the choices we make. If for any reason accidental and all, you find yourself needing forgiveness. I am certain you will appreciate it being extended to you.
4* This is a principle which was enacted thousands of years ago. It is nothing new. Many have worked this road before, many are walking it now. You are not alone.
As we depart for this week I want you to take a moment, relax, listen to your favorite music or go for a walk after reading. Allow yourself to breathe. You should be commended, for your willingness to heal to become a better and wiser you. Forgiveness is a process and it takes personal time to heal forgive and recover. Do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of listening to people who say “you should forgive him/her by now” pat yourself on the shoulder you are willing and open to forgiving that someone who wronged you. I commend YOU!
Leave your comments I am happy and willing to learn from you.
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
We have been looking at just a few of the chains which bind us. Today we are going to spend some time addressing the first chain mentioned; “chains of the past’. One of the realities of life is captured in the words of George Santayana, “those who cannot remember the past are destined to repeat it”. In order to live a life free of chains, we must first face our past.
THE PAST MUST BE LEFT IN THE PAST
I need you to find a quiet place a book and a pen,
Sit in your most comfortable position
Take 7 controlled deep breaths slowly breathing in and out, allowing fresh air to fill you longs and by extension your brain cells
Allow yourself to reflect on the situations in your life which has caused you to feel
Make headings to identify each of them separately.
In the process of going through these steps you may become very emotional; if you feel the tears begin to sting your eyes allow them to flow. Personally one of the ways I cope with negative experiences is to bury them so far within, I consciously forget them. It works but only on the surface. Like a house that is built on shifting ground is one day certain to crack and come apart. So it is with us. The hurts of the past even when we don’t regularly recall them, certainly eat away at our foundation. One day we are guaranteed to crack, even fall apart. Only the persons closest to us, at times, are able to see signs of the underlying damage which is taking place within us. I need you to uncover those negative experiences you have buried way beneath your surface; In order to deal with them effectively, we must bring them to the surface.
THE THINGS THAT CANNOT CHANGE
I am almost certain you have heard of the serenity prayer – if not allow me to quote it for you.
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change
the wisdom to change the things I can;
and the knowledge to know the difference.
I am often compelled to share this prayer with my fourteen-year-old son, who is greatly challenged but a number of changes that occurred in our family. Holding on to the wounds of the past, they bleed into our future.
The only way to be free from this dilemma is to accept that the past is the past, there is absolutely NOTING you can do to change. God has given you the power to change your future in spite of your past.
THE THINGS YOU CAN CHANGE
There is no way to change the experiences of the past, as tragic or traumatizing as they may be. We can easily come up with a list of terrible experiences that people are forced to live with starting as early as childhood. Those things we can do nothing about, what we are required do is, develop coping skills which will enable us to live a valuable and productive life in spite of our history.
You can change your bitterness in a blessing,
Turn your sorrow, into joy,
Turn your weeping, into dancing
Your pain into purpose.
This is the purpose for my writing to help you on this journey that’s called life, to get us all to a place where the pains of the past no longer hold us in chains.
TAKE HOLD OF YOUR FREEDOM TO LIVE
Now let us go back to the list of negative experiences, you made earlier. I am certain they did not make you feel positive. The only way to bring about positivity out of those negative experiences is to address them one by one. Next, I want you to list the names of the persons who are tied to those experiences; anyone living or dead who would have contributed to the hurt you feel in relation to those painful experiences in your past.
When you have completed your list of names; I want you to call each name on the list one by one and say these words.
NAME THE PERSON I give myself permission to forgive you and release you from the pain you have caused me. I let you go NOW. What you did to me can no longer hurt me. I am free, the chains are broken, I forgive you. God has given me the grace, strength, and courage to forgive you.
Repeat this process every day for one week, until you are convinced you are experiencing that release in your heart. For some of you, it will only take one day, for others it will take more. You can cross out the names one by one as you begin to experience your release. When every name has been crossed out, have a victory burning of that list.
It was Alexander Pope who said “to err is human – to forgive is divine”. What a unique statement. Mankind finds it easier to commit wrong than to do right. It’s part of our sinful nature. It takes God in us to forgive, making it a divine act. Our natural human response is to protect ourselves from harm, physical, emotional, or spiritual. Whenever we experience hurts, in order to avoid being hurt again by the same person; our defenses go up. We become determined to never let it happen again. We make an unconscious decision to hold them to the act they committed. The danger lies in the reality that we also tie ourselves to them and the act of the resulting pain. This act binds us with chains of unforgiveness which now eats at our well-being. In order to become from such persons and the acts they committed we must set them free by a conscious decision to forgive.
For the next seven days until we connect again, go through your list forgive them one by one ask God to heal your brokenness, and give you the strength to forgive. I welcome your comments, let me know how this has helped you. Should your response be personal feel free to email me; email@example.com.
Love & Blessing
Suzanna, Founder Break Every Chain
FOOD FOR YOUR SOUL
1 John 3:8 (KJV)
For this purpose, the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.